Frequently asked questions

Q: How do we measure success?

Great question. We do not measure success per se. It is, in fact, the invisible hand of the market that measures success, and that which we use as indicative guidance in all decision making. We are simply instruments of its perfect design, ordained to act in accordance with the laws of nature as all profit seeking ventures must.

Q: How do we quantify benefits from synergy?

Great question. Some consider true synergy a myth, or rather, a conceptual ideal. After decades of research and experience on this precise topic, our thought leaders concluded that total and complete synergy is not just an aspirational dream to strive toward, but is, in fact, an achievable state. Synchronicity across any organization can be realized with adequate preparation, resources, and foresight. We track the coefficient of organizational synchronicity through numerous quantitative and qualitative measures using a robust proprietary system, which has helped us capture earning potential from new acquisitions in record time.

Q: How does Global’s governance structure provide quality assurance?

Great question. And thank you for affording us the opportunity to engage with you on this critically important topic: governance. We take governance very seriously. The topic itself relates heavily to the actions or manners in which we exert control or sway over certain matters. The way we engage with governance governs how we engage with governance structures.

Q: How do I know if X company is a partly- or wholly-owned subsidiary of Global?

Great question. Global’s corporate influence and financial ties are often eschewed by what may appear to be a byzantine network of institutional arrangements. Rule of thumb is to assume majority stake in all cases.

Q: how does Global differentiate sufficiency from success?

Great question. Whereas sufficiency may be sufficient in certain instances, success is supreme in all cases. Global stives for and achieves excellence. Excellence and nothing less.

Q: How does GCWCI reinvest its profits in ways that work to improve our understanding of the human condition?

Great question. Global drives local initiatives to create a foothold in the great chasms of civilization from which to follow. These initiatives are incubated at a fundamental level and do not for instance preclude the allowances of other features in the generation of timescales and exogenous factors.

Q: Is there such thing as a stupid question?

Great question. This idea is predicated on an aphorism intended to make individuals more comfortable asking very basic questions that they should know already or might otherwise feel embarrassed asking. So yes. This one, for example.

Q: How well regarded are reptilian creatures?

Great question. Reptilian creatures are in no way threatening or sinister. Furthermore, the presence of liquid water, abundant mineral resources, and favorable atmospheric composition make this planet well suited for reptilian creatures.

Q: Does this microchip have any adverse effects on my health?

Great question. Microchips represent significant technological achievement and progress and should be considered an honor to bear.